I’ve always found it curious and a bit fascinating how closely one’s physical and emotional health are linked. (I suppose this should come as no surprise… I have a blog about baking – and eating – my feelings after all.)
In December, I was so upset that I actually made myself physically sick. Recently, I’ve had some medical issues that have really taken a toll on my poor feelings. For the first time in a while, I found myself in a place that I couldn’t bake myself out of. It’s not that I haven’t been baking – don’t worry, there’s still been a lot of chocolate and cookies happening in my kitchen – but it wasn’t just a feeling of being down that I could fix with some eggs, sugar and whisk. Not to trivialize how I felt in December, but I’ve realized that there are much more complex problems in my life other than having or not having a boyfriend.
I haven’t posted in a while, not because I didn’t have anything to say or I didn’t have anything to bake, but because I had too much to say and no way to say it.
About a week ago, I received a gift from a dear, sweet friend. It was a container of homemade cupcakes with a card that said, “Hang in there… I baked your feelings for you this week!” It was exactly what I needed. Sometimes, when things feel so much bigger than you, so complicated and messy and just too much, someone steps in for you. Obviously, my friend can’t make my decisions for me, but she helped in a different way. She knew that normally, I’d be in the kitchen baking my sad feelings into delicious baked goods, but when I couldn’t – she picked up the slack and did it for me.
After the cupcakes, I took a long walk by the lake and a couple days later I hopped on a plane to Las Vegas for a much needed vacation. I’ve come closer to making some big decisions, and although things are still a bit scary and uncertain, it no longer feels too big to handle. My mind is clearer, my body refreshed, and I’m ready to write, bake, and tackle whatever problems happen to come my way.