Monthly Archives: April 2013

I am a fix-it genius

I woke up this morning, and everything was broken.

By everything, I mean my cable TV and my toilet.

So, yeah, everything.

First, I made a giant pot of coffee. Obviously.

Then, I tackled the cable situation. They ended up being able to just reset the box for me which “should solve the problem.” I have to do this just about once a week, which has gotten exceedingly annoying, but I’ve decided that it’s better than trying to set up an appointment with an actual person which would be scheduled “sometime between now and June between the hours of 6am and 9pm. Please be at home and available that whole time.” Plus, when they send the reset signal, it makes a sound like a laser gun which is pretty cool.

Around this time I also decided to make a label with my name on it for my mailbox. I have lived in this apartment for 2 years now, and just about every day I think, “I should put my name on my mailbox.” It involves a pen, paper, some tape, and approximately 3 minutes of my time, yet somehow I have put this off for 2 years. Today was the day I finally did it. Of course I used yellow foam paper and green sharpie, but oh well, a name is a name.

The toilet situation was a little more complicated. I am not a handy person. I am good at reading. I am moderately athletic. I can bake a good cake with my eyes closed (okay, maybe not closed the whole time), and although I do know the difference between a Phillips head and a flat head screwdriver (it’s fairly obvious when one of them is called a “flat” head), I have no idea how to do anything “handy” around the house. I am also not a homeowner. One of the big reasons I still rent is because I don’t want to have to be responsible for fixing things, so normally I’d just call the landlord. But, I knew that would involve actually making the call, probably leaving a voice mail, making sure to turn my ringer on so I heard when he called back, and then actually scheduling a time for the handy man to come. That just seemed like a hassle. It’s a toilet; it can’t be too complicated.  And, for once, it really wasn’t.

I sat down in front of my computer, pulled up my trusty search engine, and started googling various combinations of the following:

“How to make the toilet float thingy go lower”
“The toilet tank doesn’t fill up after flushing, what do I do?”
“Picture of toilet parts”
“toilet broken. help.”

I got some conflicting results, but figuring out how to lower the floaty thing actually wasn’t that hard. I lowered it, I flushed the toilet, it started to fill back up again, I felt like a genius.

I was bouncing off the walls; I was so excited that I had fixed it*. Stella (my dog) was also super excited, and she expressed this excitement by running in circles around the house and stealing old birthday cake out of the trash. We decided to celebrate my accomplishment (and burn off some of her energy) with a long walk.  This proved to be an excellent idea as it gave me the chance to overhear this gem of a conversation between two young hipsters:

Hipster 1: “You know what leggings are, right?”
Hipster 2: shakes head no
Hipster 1: “You know, like jeggings only not.”[doesn’t wait for a response]
Hipster 1: like they’re pants, but they are stretchy. Like stretchy pants.
Hipster 2: Blank stare
Hipster 1: so yeah, those are leggings.
Hipster 2: shakes head yes, keeps walking, they get too far away for me to hear anything else.

That, my friends, is what I call a productive morning.

 

*Because I believe in honesty, I feel like I should probably disclose that about 2 hours after I “fixed” my toilet it started not working again, and I had to give up and call the handy man. I still got to have my moment of glory though, so I’m happy.

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A few of my favorite things

If my apartment building caught on fire at this very moment and I could only save three things (not counting my dog) what would they be?  I’ve been contemplating this scenario all day and my three things keep changing. Here is a sampling of the items I will be taking with me depending on the time of day and probably my mood:

1) Roger Maris (my stuffed raccoon)
2) my heating pad (my back has been killing me today, so if the fire doesn’t take me out, I obviously wouldn’t want my back pain to)
3) a bag of potato chips (I haven’t opened it yet, so it would be a shame to let it go to waste. You never know when you might need a snack.)

OR

1) The book I am currently reading (right now this happens to be The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.) I will also need my reading glasses for this, but I’m not counting those as a thing since I can just put those on, and I don’t think you should have to count anything you are wearing.)
2) One of cookbooks
3) my favorite pair of sweatpants (Men’s sweatpants, over sized – the crotch is at my knees, they’re faded, and way too long, and basically perfect.

OR

1) my hair straightener (girl has still got to look good, even in a crisis)
2) my fleece blanket (it is just sooo comfy)
3) My KitchenAid mixer

OR

1) Bobby Knight-Time (my stuffed bear)
2) My favorite t-shirt (over sized, from high school, has a big hole in the back, the most comfortable thing you will ever wear besides my sweatpants)
3) chocolate (whatever I happen to have around – trust me, there is always some kind of chocolate in my house.)

When I was younger, and I contemplated this question, I usually came up with things that I thought would make me seem deep and thoughtful. I’d always include in the list things like photographs and letters that meant something to me, the Bible, a family heirloom, etc.  Contrasting that with what I came up with today, I now seem a bit shallow and lazy.  But I am a creature of comfort, and sometimes a girl just needs her stuffed animals and her snacks.

Speaking of snacks, I recently tried to make these Honey Mustard Cashews from my Joy the Baker cookbook. I left them in the oven too long though (this has been happening to me a lot lately…) so they sort of transformed into something else (I also used peanuts since I didn’t have cashews, so really they were a completely different snack, but that was the inspiration I started with). Yet, they were still delicious. Also, they were quick and easy, and ease of preparation I think is essential for a good snack food.

Candied Peanuts

2 cups roasted, salted peanuts
1/4 cup honey
1 T. vegetable oil
a dash of black pepper

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Whisk together the honey, oil and pepper in a medium bowl. Add in the peanuts until coated. Spread them out on the baking sheet and roast for about 20-25 minutes. You want the honey to start to darken and caramalize. Remove from the oven and let cool. Store in an airtight container. They’ll probably clump together, but this is fine. You can eat them in clumps or use a utensil to break them up.

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Filed under Feelings, Recipes